Someday I Won’t Be The Fattest Girl In The Room….

Well, I should say that someday I won’t notice whether I am or not. That’s my goal. Someday I will no longer notice or care how my body compares to other people in the world.

20151110_192013I went to a party last night, and I felt incredibly out of place. To clarify, no one at this party made me feel uncomfortable. I honestly think that I am the only person who noticed. And, this is what the body positive journey is about.

At least for me.

Someday I will not compare my body to other people. In the end, it doesn’t matter what I look like. My beauty is unique, and it is beyond comparison.

We are all special, and shine in our own way. Even though you can catalog stars into separate groups, every star twinkles with it’s own unique pattern. Every star is on it’s own path, it’s own journey. I don’t look at a star and say it is beautiful because it looks like the one next to it. I say it is beautiful because it shines in a different way that catches my eye.

People are no different.

Orion-ConstellationI wonder if the star Betelgeuse looks down on itself because it doesn’t look like the other stars in the constellation Orion. It’s bigger. It’s brighter. It’s ruby color makes it stand out again the rest of it’s companions. Betelgeuse is truly a unique star in the entire sky.

Betelguese is not lesser because it is different. Betelguese does not lack worth because it does not conform. Betelguese is beautiful because it is unique and it stands out. Our eyes are drawn to it because it is bright, and bold. But, I still wonder, if stars were able to compare themselves, if Betelguese would let comparision be the thief of it’s joy.

We are all prone to bad body days. No matter how amazing any body positive warrior is, we all have triggers.

The trick is going to the party anyway. Smiling anyway. Finding joy in the situation, even when comparison is attempting to steal it. Someday I won’t have to try these things. I will be able to embrace my “Betelguese shine.” Until then, there is no harm in faking it until I make it.

Shine on, friends. Shine on!

15 thoughts on “Someday I Won’t Be The Fattest Girl In The Room….

  1. I agree with your post…we all have certain triggers…I know I do. I also loved reading about the star Betelgeuse. I had no idea this star existed. Today I will look up more on Betelgeuse and tell my grandsons about it. They are very interested in space and the stars.

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  2. i loved this post. I have tons of insecurities, and i can end up changing 3 or 4 times before going to a party. Some days feel better than others, but it is all in how you approach. If you approach the party thinking “oh god i’m the biggest girl in the room” sure your going to have a crappy time at the party, but if you approach with confidence, and think. “I’m the life of this party!”, chances are you’ll have more fun, and it will help you connect with others. This post really hit home for me. Thank you for sharing your insecurities, and being vulnerable. Great post!

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  3. I feel as uncomfortable at times now, after losing a lot of weight, as I did before I lost it. Sometimes I felt better about myself when I was heavier than I do now. You are truly beautiful and you have the right frame of mind. I don’t know that many of us are ever completely accepting of our bodies all of the time. You’ve given us a great reminder.

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  4. As someone on the other end of the spectrum (I am really thin) I love this. It brought tears to my eyes because I feel the same way you do when in a room. I am also starting a positive body journey. I would love to do a post with you, if you would want too.

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