We are in the midst of party season. As someone battling with the weight of body shame, this season is both fantastic and frightful. My nightmare before Christmas is always the pictures. Yes, I’m admitting that even as a proud voice for Body Positivity, I still struggle with taking pictures. I’ve almost lost my fear of the selfie, but I’ll admit that I tend to only post the images where I look a certain way. It’s the group pictures that I can’t really control that still bring anxiety.
The thing about pictures, especially at this time of year, is they really aren’t about what anyone looks like. I know that seems silly, given that we are creating a permanent record of appearances. But, truly, it has nothing to do with how anyone looks. Taking a picture is a really futile attempt to freeze a moment in time. It’s about trying to use the magic and sorcery of modern technology to place a moment into a bottle and keep it with us for the rest of time.
When I look back on pictures, I’m not looking at what the other people look like. I’m not picking apart my imperfections. A picture is a jumping off point, the spark that ignites a memory. As we move farther and farther from that point in time, we need that spark to remind us of the amazing moment we had in our lives, and importantly who we shared it with.
I know it’s scary to get in front of a camera. I understand the sweaty palms, the raised heartbeat and the heaviness that body shame brings to the picture. But, I also know that when I am older and far away from that moment, I won’t see or remember any of that. I will embrace the sorcery, and let the picture spark the memory. I will remember the joke that shared minutes before, and the loving exchange of hugs moments later. It will bring back to life the people in the room with me, even when life takes them far away.
Pictures aren’t about being perfectly posed, impeccably dressed, or aesthetically pleasing. They only capture the best of us if we let them, and the best of us has nothing to do with how we look. So, smile and let the love of the moment shine through you. Remember you are creating a spark, for yourself and for others. Let them see you shine.
There’s part of me that loves personalized holiday greeting cards, then there’s the part of me that can’t stand the effort it takes to get 3 boys still long enough to snap the photo. 🙂
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Yea. It took us a bit of work to get the family picture we did this year. I suppose it’s part of the memory making. Lol
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My boys are always insisting on having the dog sit with them. That’s nearly impossible! lol
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Oh dear. Getting dogs and boys to sit is next to impossible!
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Preach it! I always get nervous when other people take my picture but you are absolutely right about them being jump offs for memories. I have no pictures from high school and my memories are scarce which makes me sad!
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Right? I didn’t get a high school yearbook because I was embarassed of what I looked like. I have regretted that decision for years.
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Yea I lost mine! I’ve been asking my friends to send me any pictures they have of me from high school. Some are coming in. I wore such baggy clothes!
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Lol. I can only imagine what I looked liked. I’m not sure I want to. Lol
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This is such an important message! Thanks for this. 🙂
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I so agree with you! I have very few pictures from when I was heavier because I didn’t want people to have a lasting memory of that time. I think it is interesting that you posted this because one of my two before pictures is from Christmas 2011 and I look absolutely miserable, I so didn’t want that picture taken. However, now it is one of my favorite pictures! I love looking back at it! Great post!
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Thank you! ❤
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Beautifully written, and very touching. If nothing else, pictures are memories and serve as a great reminder for how far we’ve come.
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I always try to tell my mom this! I wish we had more pictures with her in them, but she hates taking pictures because she hates the way she looks. When we do get her in the pictures, she’s usually half hidden or so uncomfortable that she ends up making weird faces. I’ll have to show her this piece.
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People give the body positive movement a lot of grief, but your mom is a perfect example of why it is so important. We should never feel uncomfortable with our loved ones.
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