It seems to be a common bonding ritual for women to stand around and talk smack about their bodies. I am in no position to judge this practice, as it was general operating procedure for me as well. I stopped when I took a challenge in mindfulness. (here, here, and here.) I learned so much about how often I automatically insulted myself.
The problem with these comments is they seep into our heads, and fuel the bitchy voice that reminds us of our faults. Fueling that bitch only creates a perfect storm of self-hate.
It’s not our fault we talk shit about our bodies. I think society has so warped how we are suppose to see ourselves. It is considered vain to not knock some part of our body when someone else does it. It is how women bond.
And, let’s be honest. It’s how we fish for compliments. Both with fellow women and with men. There’s no better way to get a man to tell you how beautiful you are than by looking at him and saying that you aren’t beautiful. I get it. Been there. At the same time, it is hard to take compliments about our bodies. Any time someone verbally acknowledges our physical features, it’s so hard not to swat those words away and speak down to them.
Wanna know a little secret? If you talk shit about your own body long enough, not only will you believe it, but so will your partner. Eventually, they will also see your body in a negative light. We tell our partners how to treat us, and how to see us.
But, coming from someone who has been off the wagon of talking shit about myself for a year or so now (give or take a few mistakes), I can tell you there is a better way. It’s amazing much easier it is to enjoy your reflection in the mirror when your not talking shit about your body all the time. What we say out loud becomes what we think to ourselves at our most vulnerable moments. Be kind to yourself at all times. And, honestly, believe when people tell you that you are beautiful.
Wash off the weight of the world’s shame. Come wade in the body positive water with me. You will find it refreshingly invigorating.