The Truth About Becoming Body Positive

I should start out by saying it is my truth about becoming body positive. It would be pretty messed up (read: asshole-ish) of me to assume that my journey is the same as anyone else’s.

My problem is the expectation of how this journey would go. (Remember that saying about the root of all heartache?) I figured “becoming body positive” would be a magic wand that I would pick up and *poof* all my body image problems would just disappear.

20150921_140359Becoming body positive was suppose to be an upbeat version of “Blood Mary.” I would look in the mirror and say “I love myself” 3 to 30 times until I vibrant, happy woman appeared.

In reality I am finding the transition to be much slower. Every week there are successes and there are setbacks. One day I am feeling amazing in a dress I haven’t worn in almost a decade, and just a couple days later I’m looking at really shape-hugging sweater dress on my body in a dressing room and cringing. I am just as susceptible as anyone else to having my body positivity derailed by my own reflection, a picture at a bad angle, or even the negative words of others.

When I was staring at the mirror in the Kohl’s dressing room I had a choice to make. It was one of those moments where I had to consciously, and with severe effort, choose to challenge my negative self-talk. That stupid b*^ch in my head was saying some pretty nasty stuff, especially about the outline of my stomach. She said that I would never be able to wear a sweater dress, because sweater dresses are only for skinny, beautiful people. My body was not worthy according to her.

I made a stand. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that the dress is not the right shape for me. The dress is not worthy of me. Not the other way around.

I turned my back to the mirror and tried on another. I may not have felt as confident, and I had to take a deep breath, but I pushed forward. That is the beauty of this transition. I won’t learn how to reorder my thoughts into a more positive mind-frame if I am never challenged. To practice putting my negative voice in it’s place, I have to occasionally be put in a position to hear it.

This may not be a magic wand, but it is a magical time. Learning to see myself in a new light is like learning to see with new eyes. Like a newborn, it takes time to figure out how to focus right. I may go cross-eyed on occasion, but slowly I’ll be able to see the world the way I was meant to.

The next piece I tried on fit amazingly. My new sweater dress feels like it was made specifically for me. It is a dress worthy of my body. And that negative voice? She’s been put back to bed.


30 thoughts on “The Truth About Becoming Body Positive

  1. What an inspirational post. There is not ONE single woman I’ve met who has never faced insecurities with their body image. Not one. We all have things about us that we are not 100% pleased with. But once we realize how unique and special we are, things start to slowly change. Once we can embrace the beauty inside, the exterior also becomes more gorgeous, confident and glowing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “And that negative voice? She’s been put back to bed”!!!!! Love that!!! Love your candor… I struggle in this area… but even though I am far from my weight and body image goals… I am getting more comfortable in my own skin – and posts like this help!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love it – the DRESS is not worth of ME! Perfect, I’m remembering that. I think women battle body image their entire lives. And just when you think “I’m OK” your body changes! I’m dealing with that now in my post-menopausal state…so annoying!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great to hear your positive thinking. Everyone has times when they doubt themselves. It’s up to us how we see ourselves in the mirror. Sounds like you are how headed in the right direction.
    Well Done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for sharing your story! I find that I have similar experiences when I try out outfits in the dressing room. While I’m still working on my self talk I like to send pic’s of me in different outfits to my best friend, sometimes other people see us better than we see ourselves 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Sweater Dress: The Look | The Ipockolypse

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