Coming To Terms With My Sensitivity

I realized something recently. And, even though it scares me to be so open about it, I wonder if maybe it will help others. It should be said, that I do not believe that everyone who is on the journey of body positivity shares my same personality traits. We are all unique individuals.

10298045_706325596087151_5885683421153360480_oI am very sensitive. Any criticism has always gone straight into my heart and burrowed it’s way to my very soul. So many of these stinging words still make an unhappy home there. You could say that the locust of my identity has always been singularly exterior. (If you get that reference, I owe you a paper on adolescent gibbons.)

I’m sure you can imagine how being so sensitive can be connected to body image issues. When I looked in the mirror I was thinking about what other people saw. My entire self-image was dictated by the opinions of others. (Yes, as I type that I see the sad irony.) But, as I move with this journey of self acceptance, I am starting to learn that what other people think of me is none of my business and therefore meaningless. What matters is what I think. I think of my body is capable of many amazing things, certainly more than I used to give her credit for. She grew a human. She does a spectacular body roll. She can hike. She can dance. She can comfort. She can laugh.

My whole life, if other people thought I wasn’t good at something, I always took their word for it. Now, I’m learning to neither ask or care what someone else thinks. I am my only judge. Once I started seeing my body without the filter of other people’s opinions, the fog started to lift on the rest of my life. It was like seeing the world through my own eyes for the first time.

cropped-10468476_706325529420491_1185440341718504982_o.jpgAnd, that’s what this journey does for me. It’s not just about being able to look at my body in a mirror (though the fact that I smile when I do is a nice change.) Becoming body positive hasn’t just been about finding more freedom in my wardrobe (though not caring about fashion rules has made my closet more lively.) Going on this journey of self acceptance has improved every aspect of my life. I have learned to harness my own power, and not give it away to others.

I no longer believe that I am too fat to do anything. I no longer believe that my outward appearance dictates my worth. I no longer let other people’s opinions become my self-image.  As I debunk all the criticisms I have taken to heart over the years I am learning the truth. I am worthy. I am capable. I am loved.

So, even though I started this journey focusing solely on my appearance, I’m realizing the work I have been doing as been strictly internal. It’s not about telling other people what they should see when they look at me, but what I see when I look at myself.

I’m also realizing that being sensitive isn’t a bad thing. I can be sensitive to how my actions affect those around me. Instead of focusing on how people speak to and about me, I can focus on how I speak about and to others. And, that is really what life is all about. We are all individuals, each with a unique skill set. I was given the gift of sensitivity, and thanks to the body positive movement, I now have the freedom to use it to make the world a better place.

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44 thoughts on “Coming To Terms With My Sensitivity

  1. You have such a positive outlook and message. I always feel inspired by your posts to care less about what others think and more about how I feel about myself. I really like your comment on sensitivity that it is okay to be sensitive but instead of focusing on others being insensitive focus on how you treat others. I think that is a really powerful message. Thanks for sharing this journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful post with great insights. I am a very sensitive person as well, so I can relate to the challenge of letting criticism (or even anticipated criticism) cripple me. It’s really all about being as sensitive and kind to yourself as you are to others. Thanks so much for sharing your journey.

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  3. Found your post through Opinionated Man! I can definitely relate to you, as I also am sensitive to rejection and criticism (although the latter I have gotten better with over the years). Many people associate sensitivity with being “butt-hurt,” but really, we all experience it, more or less to the same degree. Thank you for sharing.

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  4. Very well said. I was in shock when I found out a friend of mine wouldn’t go swimming at the beach with her kids because she was self-conscious about her body and she looked fine to me. Now, I’m getting a bit older, I am starting to have a few doubts myself but once you’re in the water, you’re pretty well camouflaged anyway.
    Self-acceptance is probably the hardest journey for any of us to undertake but it’s worth it xx Rowena

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  5. Applauds to you for, well, all of it. For being so open. For being honest. For realizing that their opinions don’t matter. Only yours does.
    That’s the way it should be, it’s sad that our society doesn’t promote it.
    I think that everyone is sensitive in some way. The major issue I’m sensitive about most people don’t understand and ridicule me for it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wonderful, reflective, joyful post. Being sensitive can be a rough hoe. I remember lines from a play that said, “I have spent most of my life trying to be what I thought other people wanted me to be,” and that was the story of my own life for years until I read Oscar Wilde’s comment, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Congratulations to realizing and living that line.

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  7. Well my dear Angel, you are quite an inspiration to me and to others. You went into your journey with one idea in mind on why you were doing it, but came out the other end with a brand new outlook and realization on life and yourself. That is something of a gift and should be cherished! You are beautiful both inside and out and your sensitivity is what makes you special in many ways. Your sensitivity helps you to connect better with others than most. And, that is a gift as well. So, cheers to you my dear and you keep up the great work of self promoting such an Angelic Spirit that you have. Always with Light, Love, Strength, Enlightenment, and Our Warrior Within.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It is really difficult to truly not care what others think of you. There’s a quote that always makes me smile “what other people think of you is none of your business”.

    I got the reference! (BTW, think you have a typo. “Locus” of my identity. I’m now expecting that paper on gibbons.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can totally relate! I was overweight for a good part of my life and I had a very negative attitude and body image. One day, I had my “A-ha!” moment too, and I realized that my body is amazing no matter how big or small it is, and that I should love it. That changed everything for me, because at that moment I became willing to embark on a health journey in order to improve my body’s condition. I didn’t do it because I wanted to look better, I did it because I finally started to love myself. Loving ourselves is a journey too, and it’s wonderful to see you on that journey also. I’m very happy for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Reading this blog was a no-brainer for me – I saw the title and knew immediately I had to ingest everything you had written about being sensitive, and man am I glad I did. This blog is *everything*. All of my life I’ve been told I’m “too sensitive” and have been working tirelessly day in and day out to keep a level head and stay as subjective as possible to counteract it. You hit the nail on the head, “What other people think of me is none of my business”. What we think of ourselves is first and foremost, always. Thanks for this one. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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