Bringing Body Positivity Home (NSFW)

On our way home from an incredible weekend I told my husband I wanted to write this blog. He agreed it was a good idea, as long as I left out some details. As I stare at the screen I am still unsure how I will convey the message I want to get across.

So, bare with me.

parental-advisory

My wedding anniversary is on February 14th. This year marked 6 years of our journey so far. It has had it’s major ups, and it’s hellacious downs. We have come out of the struggles of the first five years stronger and happier, and better prepared for what the next five years brings. (The seven-year itch comes to mind.)

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced as a wife has been not letting my lack of self confidence have a destructive affect on our love life. My body is not what it was when we met. It started changing not to long after we got engaged, thanks to our amazing son.

My lack of confidence created a real drought for the both of us. At one point we went over a year.

In the last year or so that I’ve been investigating and attempting to embrace the idea of being “body positive” I have seen some real changes in this area of my marriage. I am blessed with an amazing husband who stood by my side and patiently waited.

I admit, I’ve been taking this “body positive” outlook everywhere. I’ve taken this new confidence dancing, to waterfalls, everywhere when I walk out the door. It wasn’t until this week I really had to apply it at home. Well, in a hotel room an hour or so from home, but you get what I mean.

This weekend I learned some valuable lessons that I hope to share.

1. He Loves What I Look Like. 

Whether it was in the blue dress, that I looked absolutely amazing, or in some of the other items I brought, I heard consistently how much he loves how I looked. It solidified the idea that my husband knows what I look like, even when I spend most of my precious wardrobe budget on finding creative ways to hide it.

He knows.

He likes it.

2. Lingerie Comes In All Sizes.

I honestly was not expecting options in my size. Truly, I was expecting to find not a damn thing. Ya know what, there were a plethera of options for me. So many that it was actually a little daunting to weed through them all. Luckily my husband gave me a list of options to work with, while still keeping the surprise.

Now, I admit it was strange shopping for these items online. And, when I tried them on before the trip I was pretty sure they were a failure. When it came time to show time, they were a big hit. Goes to show how the mirror isn’t always an accurate reflection of what your partner sees in you.

For the record, I went to Yandy.com. I got their largest sizes. (I’m a size 18/20/22.) Though, the parts that I had the toughest time getting to work at more to do with my cup size than my stomach size. Just sayin’.

3. “It’s not the lingerie, it’s the woman willing to wear it that is sexy as hell.” – Mr. Ipockolypse

I’m pretty sure I have this quote right. Though, I didn’t have a  notepad out at the time. My husband said this to me when I had confessed that I was incredibly nervous the night before.

It is an amazing reminder that confidence is probably the sexiest thing a woman can ever wear.

4. You have to love your self first.

Part of what made the experience incredible for my husband was my confidence in doing it. If I had been covering myself, shrinking in the corner, the affect would have been lost on him. What helped me pull these “looks” off was my ability to stand straight and confidently as he walked into the room.

You really have to have some confidence to twist a finger in your pigtails and say “I’m here for detention, professor.”

You can find an ample amount of advice about plus size sex. Google gave me plenty to think about last week as I was doing research.

I think the biggest barriers in this situations are our own minds. It’s our own insecurities and misconceptions that keep us from truly letting go and enjoying ourselves. One of the most powerful things I read this week was that they (the lovers in our lives) know what we look it and they are dying to sleep with us anyway. There is no reason to be ashamed something they desperately want.

 

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