Ego Trips

My husband and I are doing a park tour of our city. Our city has 55 parks, and we are trying to visit them all this summer. We just finished park 21 this weekend.

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It is forcing us to go out on a lot of family adventures. We never went out as often as a family as we do now. I suppose this is a good thing, and it’s helping me get over my dislike of taking my son in public. It is also giving me practice at letting my son get a little farther out of reach, and climb just a little higher with my hand hovering over him.

However, I have noticed a pattern between my husband and I. We both try to win at arguments. We never have any big arguments, either. It’s always whether to turn left or right, whether our son should be hovered over at the moment or not, or whether or not to stop the ice cream truck going by the park.

One of us usually start with some passive-aggressive jab, I can take credit for that at least half the time. Then it devolves from there into full on crankiness that ruins whatever park we are at. Usually they continue because we both want to win. We want the other person to say they are sorry, or admit they made a mistake, or whatever. Unfortunately, we are both stubborn and don’t want to give up.

This has started making me dread our park days. I want to complete this project because we are getting amazing pictures of our son at each park. I just wish it was a more positive experience for the whole family.

Perhaps I have to take ownership for making it better. I can admit that I am, at least, half of the problem. I’ve decided to focus on winning less. Nothing I want to win at is really worth the crankiness. I will focus on finding the joy, even in the moments that make me want to scream. I will remember that not everyone is important enough to ruin my bad mood.

After five years of marriage, we still have some kinks to work out. This is not a bad thing, though I suppose it is not a good thing either. It is what happens when two individuals attempt a lifelong partnership. I wouldn’t give that up for anything.

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2 thoughts on “Ego Trips

  1. It takes a lot of work at time. Then there are those times when everything just clicks. Talk it out over dinner and things will smooth out. We do the same things. These little squabbles that can grow disproportionately large over small matters.

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