I just got back from line dancing. It has been six hours since I made my pledge to not body shame myself for a 24 hours period.
Let me tell you, it’s been really hard.
It’s amazing once you start consciously paying attention to behaviors you never focused on before, how much you notice. I had to stop myself from saying horrible things about my body at least one in every conversation. It made me realize I am really nondiscriminatory about who I will talk s**t about my body to. I would have said something to EVERYONE I talked to tonight. Even strangers.
Of course, going into specific detail of what I wanted to verbalize about myself would defeat the purpose. I’m sure I could be breaking my own rules by still having unspoken negative words.
I imagine the next 8 hours will be okay, because I am going to go to sleep. I’m safe for that time.
I can understand why I am so hard on myself in a bar, surrounded by people. I am used to using my self deprecating humor as a way of entertaining. I enjoy making those around me laugh. So, I can see why my No Body Shame Challenge was tough for me there.
What will happen in the morning? I will be home with my son, not really talking much. I feel like that should be a breeze to. I feel like the hard part of this challenge is over, but we will see.