Taking Our Son… Anywhere

I have a real fear about this. What if he meltsdown? What if he runs and I can’t catch him?

The idea of taking our son out into the “real world” by myself gives me mixed feeling of fear and sadness. Fear of doing it, sadness because I’m afraid to do it.

I used to take him to walks around the apartment complex when it’s nice. It would also end up in the same place. He would have to walk through the empty lot full of boards with nails and leftovers of homeless camps.

It was bad enough to try to not be bored when watching him play with random dirt piles. I can’t just sit in the grass and read, knowing he’s on a play structure, looking up occasionally. I have to keep eyes on him the whole time. He wanders.

And the fights over the empty lot makes us both feel “elevated” by the time we get back home.

Yet, he was amazing this week. We went on a road trip, and never once did he meltdown. Never once did we have any problems. He was even patient when we had to stay in one place for long periods of time. It was absolutely magical. Was it the vibration of the car and the stroller? (Yes, we put your four year old in a stroller. Until you have a wanderer, don’t judge.)

I wish I knew the magic reason, because it’s a beautiful day outside and I wish we could both enjoy it without tears.

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10 thoughts on “Taking Our Son… Anywhere

  1. It’s similar here, except I have three with difficulties and the one with ASD and ADHD also has physical disabilities and gut disease… but despite it all seeming utterly overwhelming sometimes you just have to get out and go for it. Still bloody tough and lots of tears at times – massive sympathy from me and well done for getting out xx #positivelinky

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  2. So glad you had a meltdown free time! Those are worth celebrating.
    I experience some of what you do. I’m also sad that I can’t take my son anywhere by myself. I could, but it could definitely be a disaster. 😉
    And, yes, I have a wanderer too. He’s four and is in a stroller often. This week I mentioned going to the Farmers Market, and my husband notified that Jeremiah won’t fit in it anymore. I felt quite defeated.

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