I wish this blog was about my weight. I wish I could report that people are noticing that I’m losing weight like crazy and I look amazing. Alas, that is not what I have to report. I do however, think I have lost a lot of fear. Fear of doing “me” things because they will distract from my “mom” things. I think I’ve lost a lot of fear of people, and a fear of judgement. I’ve gained new energy for getting up, and away from the computer, and being active. This has actually givien me new energy for my more, mundane, daily activites. I am also more refreshed, relaxed, and patient.
My husband “games” on Saturday nights. He plays tabletop RPG’s. If this makes sense to you and you want more specifics, I can’t really give them the name whitewolf rings a bell. Just think dungeons and dragons. Don’t get me wrong, I used to play with him and his friends. I miss it terribly. But, it’s been so hard to find an overnight sitter for our son, so I’ve been staying home while my husband goes out for these 12 hour marathon gaming sessions.
Apparently, my presence has been missed. This makes me feel loved buy a table full of nerds. But, lately, they had been noticing that my Facebook feed has suddenly been full of activity.
When they asked my husband about it they wondered what we did with my son while I was out. My husband explained that he stayed home while I was gone. To me, this is a no brainer, but apparently they thought I would take our son to a sitter. Ha! Nope, my husband stays home while I go galavanting the cosmos.
This is when my husband admits that the entire group had been worried about me since I stopped playing. They knew that I would stay home for weeks (sometimes months) on end, never leaving our apartment. They had noticed that in the last couple months that I had started walk, hiking, dancing, the generally getting out into the real world.
It made them happy, and it relieved them that I was getting some sunlight. (Right? Nerd like sunlight? Who knew!)
This make me happy. I have learned that I’m not as much of an introvert as I thought I was, and I do in fact enjoy people in general. I have remembered that I love dancing, even though I’ve traded my hip hop body rolls for line dance grapevines. I go to trivia nights, backwards bingo, and clothing swaps. I’ve never been this popular, or had this full of a schedule in my life.
My favorite lesson is that I have learned that I can both be a human being and a mom. I can spend my day with my son, cleaning, laundry, everything I used to do. When my husband comes home, I have dinner ready for him. We talk about his day and spend time together. I can also go out and get in some good girl time with friends 2 or 3 nights a week. I can also get a nice walk in at least twice a week. Nothing has suffered, but I have gained so much.
I love this part of the Ipockolypse.